Every once in a while, I'll go through the alphabet with my TIVO in a search for new, interesting-sounding show titles. Recently, I found a show called "The Jewish Voice." Seeing as my husband is Jewish, and I have enjoyed everything I learned about and experienced of Judaism so far, I programmed it to record. There wasn't any description for the show, but I thought it might be a local program with some Rabbis or Jewish scholars discussing... I dunno, Judaism?

What it turned out to be was a show for Christians, hosted by a Christian, solely presented to "teach" Christians how to convert Jews. It's not that I object to this theoretically - afterall, the New Testament says to go make disciples of all nations, so that's the Christian perogative. What bothered me was the way in which the host and his guest (some Jewish-born guy who was converted to Christianity at age 16) spoke about Jews. It was as if they were inanimate objects or pieces of meat they simply wanted to convert for the sake of adding numbers to their ranks. Nothing was spoken about each individual Jew or loving the person and wanting the best for him or her. There really wasn't even talk of spirituality at any time - just an egotistical air of superiority coming from them. It reminded me of people who do charity work simply for the recognition they receive by their actions, not for the benefit of the charity or those individuals it serves.

Needless to say, I was incredibly put off by this program. So much so, that it made me nauseous. I see Christianity in a different light these days, and it isn't serving the purpose it once was for me. Instead of drawing me closer to the God I believe in, it's putting obstacles in my path. I seek a religion and way of life that helps me celebrate and follow my God; that offers me ways to foster the relationship between me and my creator. I'm pretty sure Christianity, for me, isn't it anymore.