When I arrived at this job, my desk was piled high with crap. Office crap, general crap, and left behind crap from those who used to sit at my desk. Under the crap, however, lay a glorious treasure. A diamond in the rough. A ray of sunshine amidst a cloudy day.

A Magic 8 Ball.

Since it�s unearthing, the Magic 8 Ball has been sitting proudly on my desk in full view of all passersby. A few have even come to consult the Magic 8 Ball. Me included.

Say I wanted to know something, something for which the outcome will be known in the near future, but about which my patience is wearing thin. Say, perhaps I wanted to know what will be the outcome of The Contest.

I gingerly pick up the Magic 8 Ball from it�s majestic perch, bring it close to my lips and whisper the question that�s been so constantly but annoyingly on my mind it�s like one of those itty bitty fruit flies that you keep swatting at and swatting at thinking you�ll get it, but eventually you just give up, move to another room, and hope it dies soon.

My Dr. Pepper lip balmed lips parted as I uttered those four little words:

�Will Non and I win The Contest?� (five, six� seven little words)

::shake::

UNLIKELY

I furrow my brow. �Are you sure?�

::shake, shake, shake::

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

Okay. That�s fine. We don�t have to win, but please don�t tell me last night�s couple is going to win. They don�t have enough money for a wedding, but they have enough money to buy twin jet skis? I mean, come on.

�Is last night�s couple going to win?�

YES

�No.�

::shake, shake::

YES

No! There is no way they can win. No way!

"Are they really going to win?�

::shake, shake, shake, SHAAAAAAKE::

POSITIVELY

Maybe there was a good reason this Magic 8 Ball was hidden under a pile of crap.