Congratulations Graduate! What you've accomplished in just three years will have a lasting effect on your life. Having just earned a Masters Degree, you have fought and scratched your way to a chosen club of elite: the Highly Educated Yet Thoroughly Unemployable Club. In addition to this membership, you'll receive FREE inaguration into the highly elusive Hiding From My Loan Officer Forum.

REMINDER: this is a lifetime membership with nothing more to buy, ever! Your membership includes: trememdous anxiety, spiraling self-esteem, and ultimate frustration not to mention parental disappointment and personal debt!

On behalf of all of us at Suckers, Inc., I want to welcome you to the Club.