It's strange, I think. In my workplace, I'm surrounded by people whose ultimate (and seemingly only) goal is to make money. I keep expecting them to eventually realize that money is nice and all, but it can't make you happy. I'm convinced of that. It can cut down your stress level, that's for sure. If you have lots of it, it can become "one less thing to worry about", of course. Some things you can buy with it will provide temporary satisfaction -- sure. But simply having it can no more evoke happiness than a tax seminar can evoke an orgasm.

While I was growing up, I was surrounded by people who challenged me to ask "what do I want to do with my life"? rather than, "how much money do I want to make"? In college and grad school, my friends and peers were all abuzz with creative endeavors. Those that became legend were the students who were suffering for their art. We quickly learned that the money that would've been spent on dinners out, could be added to pad our budget -- minus the $2 we needed to purchase the case of Top Ramen we'd use to sustain us during pre-production.

Life continues. Somewhere along the way, my intense desire to acheive my dreams became dwarfed by the need to pay my bills, the unexpected suprise of falling in love, the subsequent relocation and wedding planning; thus, my motivation to continue to be goal-oriented became frighteningly low.

Then, just as unexpectedly, the motivation can return.

Non and I went to a concert last night. Martin Sexton-- an east-coast musician with pockets of fans all over the country. He didn't preach to us. He didn't try to inspire us with tales of fame and fortune (I doubt he really has any, truth be told). All he did was stand alone on stage, guitar in hand, and sing. It wasn't WHAT he sang, but HOW he sang it. He was just into it, man. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face the entire time. And by the time we left, an area inside me that's been cold and dark lately suddenly felt warm again.

This morning I woke up to find it was still there. And no matter what happens today, I'm gonna be hanging on to that warmth with everything I've got. And if all goes according to plan, I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll still be there.