Wow.

How could I have let all that time go by without having posted any new entries?

It's been a semi-strange couple of weeks, and I'll tell you why: I don't really feel like I'm here anymore. My mind is so caught up in moving up to be with Non, that I've mentally left here. I'm physically still here, and all my crap is definitely still here (either laying idley on the floor or stuffed into a box), but I feel like I'm in limbo. Every day seems only to exist as a means of getting me another day closer to making a home together with Non. And it's been an emotional roller coaster. This is the longest Non and I have been apart, and it's difficult in that sense, but also, this is a pivotal time in my life, and I yearn to have Non here to listen to me, to hug me, and to wipe away the ridiculous amount tears I've been shedding. But, instead, I cross off another day on my calendar every morning as I look forward to the day I won't have to cross any more days off.

Now, you'd think I'd be thoroughly enjoying myself... nothing to do during the day, or night for that matter, other than ready myself to move. Whereas it is nice to have the time to daydream and imagine all the wonderful, fun things that are in store, it's also a total drag. I haven't worked much this month -- very few calls from my temp agency -- and the more days go by the more useless I feel. And I don't like feeling useless... I want to be useful (not to mention the strain it's putting on my wallet).

So, that's another reason I'm looking forward to this relocation -- I can look for a new job. One that isn't temporary. One that is somewhat satisfying. One in which I will feel like what I'm contributing is USEFUL to the company as a whole. And, as Non is busy with not just the full-time teaching job, but with another part-time job as well, I want to find another outlet for myself. I could join a volleyball league, perhaps. Or I could find a place at which I can volunteer -- like a senior center. I like senior citizens. They have such wisdom and spunk and character. And they're so underappreciated in this country. Yeah, I think I'd like to adopt a grandparent, please.

So, what with the packing, and emotional upheaval, and the daydreaming, and the continual fretting over my finances (or lack thereof), it seems understandable that I might let a full two weeks pass without an update...

doesn't it?