I am fiercely PMSing; therefore, nothing is safe.

If you're a person -- I'll curse at you (especially if you're driving).

If you're a baby -- I will sense you within a 50 mile radius.

If you're a phone commercial -- I will cry because of you (then, consequently, laugh at myself for crying at a phone commercial).

If you're The Non -- I will miss you intensely and think of you constantly (a recurring theme being winning the lottery and running away to a snowy cabin together).

If you're a friend/roommate -- I will either ignore you completely or cling to you annoyingly.

If you're food (even Lemon Mambas) -- I will devour you.

If you're my ovaries -- I will want to rip you out of myself and sell you to the lowest bidder.