I was reading the Weekly World News today (for research purposes), and I came across an article that I thought I'd share. I'm helpful that way.

10 SURE SIGNS YOUR KID'S PAL IS THE SON OF SATAN

1. He babbles

2. He carefully arranges his blocks.

3. He uses telltale phrases ("like 'hell's bells' and 'I am Xenothalamus, guardian of the eternal citadel of hellfire!'").

4. He loves to make deals (".. he's trading a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for your daughter's soul").

5. He throws temper tantrums (".. careful observers will see his head spin").

6. He goes by a peculiar name (".. Hades or D.Evil").

7. His finger paintings look like Hell.

8. He wears a Band-Aid (".. it might be covering the telltale insignia of the devil").

9. He wears clothes (".. those cute Osh-Kosh overalls may be concealing his long forked tail").

10. He smells bad (".. the smell of sulfur and brimstone emanating from his diabolical pores").

I swear, the writers who work at the WWN must be some of the most creative people in the world. I've been reading a few more diaries today, and I've come to a realization: holy shit I'm boring! I thought I would be at least mildly entertaining, but by comparison I'm about as funny as the death of Bambi's mother. These diaries are fan-fucking-tastic! I was laughing out loud at the reception desk this afternoon (by myself, mind you). I think my sudden outbursts cemented the aforementioned assumption by those in the office that I'm stupid. Or "special" as my roommate likes to say (she makes an "S" in the air with her finger as she utters the word). If you haven't read not-a-finger.... run, do not walk, to her diary. Also, I highly enjoyed savecraig. Try him, you'll like him.

Just